Why You Can’t “Just Focus”: The Real Reason ADHD Attention Works Differently

Many people with ADHD are told they’re “not paying attention” or “just need to try harder.” But the truth is much more complex and far kinder.

ADHD is not a problem with attention. It’s a condition that affects the brain’s ability to regulate attention, switch tasks, hold information in working memory, and stay on a single track.

Let’s break down what’s actually happening inside an ADHD brain.

ADHD and Working Memory: The Missing Piece Nobody Talks About

One of the biggest contributors to ADHD “inattention” is impaired working memory, not laziness or lack of effort.

Working memory is like a mental holding space. It helps us:

• keep a thought in mind

• remember what we’re doing

• complete multi-step tasks

• stay focused on the original goal

  
  

When working memory slips, ADHD brains don’t just lose details. They lose the entire thread of what they were doing.

This is why people with ADHD often:

• open the fridge and forget why

• walk into a room and lose the task

• start tidying one thing and suddenly be deep-cleaning another

• abandon activities without realising it

• feel overwhelmed by multi-step tasks

• get distracted and completely forget the original plan

  
  

This isn’t carelessness. This is neurology.

It’s true that everyone experiences these moments from time to time. Getting distracted, forgetting what you were doing, or losing track of tasks is part of being human. The difference with ADHD is frequency, intensity, impact, and the exhaustion that comes with trying to manage it every day. For people with ADHD, these lapses aren’t occasional glitches. They’re ongoing patterns shaped by working-memory differences and attention-regulation challenges, and they can significantly affect wellbeing, confidence, and daily life.

Distractibility Isn’t a Personality Trait. It’s a Brain Pathway

ADHD brains react strongly to external and internal distractions.

External interruptions (sounds, movement, someone talking) can instantly pull attention away. Internal distractions (a thought, a memory, an idea, a feeling) can have the same effect.

Once distracted, the brain often:

➡ switches into a new focus➡ forgets the original task➡ follows the new path automatically➡ becomes absorbed in the new thing.

This is why ADHD isn’t about a lack of attention. It’s about difficulty maintaining attention on the task the brain intended, rather than the task or stimulus that pulls attention away.

The Attention “Switch” Problem

People with ADHD often struggle with:

• Task initiation - The brain can’t “boot up” the task.

• Task switching - Transitioning between activities can feel heavy or impossible.

• Task resumption – After a distraction, it can be very difficult for people with ADHD to return to what they were doing, especially if the original task has dropped out of working memory.

This isn’t lack of motivation. This is executive function overwhelm.

Why ADHD Tasks Feel Like They “Slip Away”

Even meaningful tasks can disappear from focus if:

• working memory drops

• distractions appear

• stress is high

• the task isn’t clearly structured

• there’s no immediate feedback

• the brain feels uncertain about the next step

  
  

This isn’t irresponsibility. It’s a brain managing multiple input streams at once (sensory, emotional, cognitive) often far more than it can comfortably hold. And that level of mental juggling is genuinely exhausting.

Practical Strategies That Fit ADHD Brains

Externalise your working memory

For many ADHD brains, holding information in the mind is the hardest part, so externalising removes that pressure. This doesn’t always have to mean writing.

Some people prefer using:

• Post-its or quick scribbles

• Voice notes or audio memos

• Recording ideas in the moment on their phone

• Talking through the task with someone

• Dictation tools

• Visual prompts like whiteboards or checklists

• Apps that capture tasks with one tap

The goal isn’t neat notes. It’s getting the thought out of your head so your

brain doesn’t have to juggle it.

Remember: externalising is a support, not a sign of weakness.

Use micro-steps

Breaking tasks into tiny, concrete actions can reduce working-memory demands and overwhelm. Instead of a broad goal like “clean the kitchen,” ADHD-friendly steps might look like:

➡ “Put dishes in the sink”➡ “Wipe one bench”

Micro-steps help tasks feel more manageable and less daunting.

Interrupt the distraction chain

When attention shifts, a brief pause can help identify whether something is genuinely urgent or whether the brain is seeking escape from discomfort or overload. For some people, a gentle “return to task” cue or prompt can make it easier to reconnect with the original intention.

Body doubling

Having another person present, physically or through video, can help regulate attention, reduce overwhelm, and support sustained engagement. This doesn’t require interaction; simply sharing space can make tasks feel less heavy for ADHD brains.

Habit stacking

Pairing a new habit with something already established can support memory and consistency, especially when working-memory slips make it hard to remember stand-alone tasks. For ADHD brains, the “stack” is most effective when the anchor habit is already automatic such as making a morning drink, logging onto a device, or brushing teeth. By attaching a small new action to an existing routine, the brain has fewer steps to initiate, lowering cognitive load and reducing reliance on motivation alone.

Values-based action (ACT approach)

Instead of relying on motivation, which fluctuates for ADHD brains, connecting a task to personal values can create a stronger sense of direction. A small step taken because it aligns with what matters (such as care, growth, or stability) can be more grounding than waiting to “feel ready.”

There’s Nothing That Needs Fixing

ADHD challenges are not the result of laziness or lack of effort. They arise from the way an ADHD brain processes information, emotion, and sensory input. What helps most is support that understands the realities of:

• differences in working memory

• distractibility patterns

• task-switching difficulties

• emotional sensitivity

• sensory overwhelm

• burnout cycles

Neurodivergent brains aren’t less. They’re wired differently. And those differences deserve understanding, compassion, and approaches that genuinely fit.

Support at Pebble & Tide Counselling

Pebble & Tide Counselling offers online, ADHD-affirming support across Australia for:

• working-memory challenges

• attention regulation

• executive-functioning difficulties

• emotional regulation

• burnout, overwhelm, and sensory fatigue

• adolescents, adults, and children

Sessions are calm, collaborative, and paced gently. Body-doubling can be included as part of counselling if helpful. Many of our ADHD clients find shared focus supportive and regulating.

For those seeking a space where ADHD experiences are understood and respected, sessions can be booked here:👉 Book Online